Therapy is often something people decide to do when “all else fails”. You’ve gone through another unsuccessful relationship. You’ve had another panic attack that has left you feeling shaken. You are sick of having low self-esteem and putting yourself down. Whatever the reason, you have come to a place where you are ready for things to get better. You go online or talk to someone you know and make the call. Now what?

The hoops someone must jump through to actually get into a therapist’s office is another story, but once you are in front of your chosen therapist, now what? Most therapists will want to spend the first session getting to know you. The session will most likely be a conversation about why you came to therapy, what happened that led to your decision to seek help and what you want from therapy. In addition, the therapist may ask about your life situation. Are you in a relationship? Is it a good relationship? What was your childhood like? Who is in your family and where are you in the birth order? Have you ever tried therapy before? What do you do to relax? Do you use alcohol or drugs? Medications? Lots of questions about you and your social, emotional and psychological history. At the end of that hour, the therapist usually summarizes what was discussed and a possible direction the therapy might go. You will want to give the therapist your feedback about the plans and any questions about what to expect.

Once the full evaluation is completed, the therapy is on its way. Each therapist has a unique style and presentation. Some therapists are very non-directive, meaning they often allow the participant to set the tone and rhythm of the session. The therapy is often supportive and reflective in the approach. This therapy is considered “supportive” in that its goal is to provide an environment of validation and unconditional positive regard.  Other therapists use a more directive and goal-oriented style. Each session is based upon the participant’s stated goals at the beginning of the therapy and the primary driver of each session is to help the participant to move closer to their mastery and conquering the obstacle that brought them to therapy. Each type of therapy has value, and each type can be useful at certain points in our lives.

When beginning therapy, it is important to know what you want/need out of therapy and what type of therapy fits best with those reasons. Remember not every therapist fits every person. And not even the best therapist is right for every season in our lives. When keeping this in mind, you can be confident that you will find value in seeking therapy.